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You will feel an overwhelming sense of doom when you ‘transition’
This is the point where your cervix is nearly completely dilated and your body pumps out hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, to power your abdominal muscles to push. You’ll feel out of control and want to flee. Your partner will never have seen this side to you so it’s wise to research this and prepare you both.
Diamorphine is another name for heroin
It’s medical grade and (obviously) uncut but it provides dissociation from pain and a feeling of immense wellbeing. But it can affect a baby’s breathing once born or leave them quite sleepy. Your midwife is best placed to know when it’s safe to have it.
The latest fad is for women to bring in labour ‘combs’ which they squeeze into the palm of their hand as pain relief; it works as a distraction in a similar way to a TENS machine. Great if it works for them, but it doesn’t work for everyone.
Most women make noises
Everyone is different, some can grunt, moo, swear, or scream. It’s a clever body design because forcefully breathing out when you make noise stops you from just ‘pushing’ from the downward force, which helps reduce tearing. Nature doesn’t often get much wrong.
Midwives might deliver between 2-3 babies per shift
It’s immensely rewarding to feel you’ve helped them have a better birth, and I love hearing from them afterwards. I’ve never had a mother die in my care, but I’ve cried with mums who have suffered stillborns, which thankfully are getting even rarer now women are having greater surveillance during pregnancy and early inductions are offered.
Thirty to forty per cent of first time mums have inductions
You don’t always have to have an epidural, but do be prepared for perhaps wanting one. So do all the research into the procedure, risks and benefits beforehand.
You might vomit
Your uterus is working so hard that other organs may shut down to allow your body to work efficiently. You probably won’t be hungry and may feel sick but it’s important to still fuel your body with sports drinks or coconut water.
Skin-to-skin contact isn’t just about breastfeeding
It colonises your baby’s skin with the family’s friendly bacteria, building their microbiome. It doesn’t really matter who does this; partner, sibling, the benefits are numerous. We only prefer the mothers to do it because it also helps to initiate breastfeeding.
Tea and toast tastes amazing after birth
Your body craves the energy. I live in Harrogate – home to Betty’s and Yorkshire tea – but nothing was on the same level as the NHS stuff I had after my own two births.
Lesley was a practising midwife for two decades before founding My Expert Midwife as its clinical director
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